HEARTACHE

Heartache....I have much heartache in my life at this moment in my life, but the heartache I am writing about today has nothing to do with me.  A close friend of mine suffered a miscarriage last September.  She has a 4 year old little man and was hoping for that little girl.  So needless to say, when she found out she was pregnant, she was more than thrilled.  She told us of her pregnancy by putting a shirt on her little boy that said "Does this shirt make me look like a big brother?"  It was so adorable.  This little boy has been such a ray of sunshine in my life.  He was the ring bearer in my wedding as well as I spend all summer long with him out at the lake.  He is so stinking cute and I love him like my own family.  He is one of the most beautiful/handsome/cutest children I have come across in my life, so when I heard the news that my friend was expecting again, I could only imagine the beautiful child she would have this time around.  When she was pregnant with her little boy they waited until after her first trimester before they told anyone, because she was in her middle 30s and she feared miscarriage.  But this time, she had an ultrasound and saw the baby so they felt comfortable telling us.  I believe she was 10 weeks when the heartbeat was no longer there.

Last night I sent her a text message to have her wish her little man a "Happy Birthday!"  We text back and forth for a bit.  I asked her how things were going and she texted back that things were a bit rough because her dad is in the hospital and tomorrow (March 15th) was her scheduled C-section date.  Instant HEARTACHE!!!!  My heart broke for her because I know exactly how she feels.  May 22nd is my "black" day.  That was my due date and I will forever have that day engraved in my mind.  We text back and forth a couple more times, mostly me making sure she knew that she can turn to me anytime!!

All day today I have thought about her and my heart ached for her.  I know the pain she is suffering.  I know the constant mind tricks of thinking that you have no right to feel this blue over a day, etc..... I honestly could go on and on.  So today I have said many little prayers for her.

I challenge you to find a person in your life that causes you HEARTACHE and say a prayer for them.  Reach out to them and let them know you are there for them.  You never know what kind of effect you may have on them.

HOPE

Hope.....Today I had a glimpse of hope that has lifted my spirits. My husband and I have suffered two miscarriages in the past year and a half and are still actively pursuing pregnancy with no success. I am 31 (32 in December) and the age thing is really beginning to freak me out. We have no children, so this infertility is killing us.....well me for sure. But today at work I had a health screening/choloesterol screening for insurance purposes (we save $12 a month by doing it) and the nurse performing the screening was great. Not only was she fabulous at the finger prick, but she gave me HOPE for my fertility future. She told me that she too struggled with getting pregnant and had suffered a miscarriage. She saw a fertility doctor and now is the mother of three little boys. She had her first boy at age 30 and a set of twin boys at 33. She probably has no idea how much HOPE she gave me, but I felt a tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders. It also gave me HOPE because she mentioned that she struggled to even get pregnant and has know successfully gotten pregnant twice!!

Of course, I am still uneasy and frustrated at our fertility issues, but I truely believe God brought this wonderful nurse, Julie, into my life today because he knows how down I have been the past couple weeks.

I challenge you to look into your life, find a struggle, and always keep your eyes and ears open for HOPE. It's always there....you just have to open up and let it in!!

LOVE

Love.....I have so much love in my life! I love my Momma. I love my Pops. I love my husband, Kevin. I love my doggies, Brystol and Lola. I love my besties, Heather and Christi. I love my favorite non-biological/adopted by choice daughter, Mikala. The list goes on and on!!

Let me begin by talking about my Momma and Pops. I have so much love for them and they share so much love for me! I can honestly say I have the absolute BEST parents in the world. They raised me with so much love and support and 31 years later, they still have the same love and support they had the day I was born! My Momma is my best friend. She is there no matter what with the best advice!! My Pops....well let's just say I'm a Daddy's Girl, so our relationship is AWESOME!!! He is so suportive and I don't just mean supportive with $$....lol!! He is hilarious (don't tell him that though) and makes me laugh at the times when I need to laugh the most. Ahhhhh...I could go on and on for hours with the LOVE I have for my parents, but I am sure I will share more in later blog posts.

Let me finish this post by talking about the LOVE of my life...my cell phone...oh no wait, I mean my husband, Kevin!! (lol) Kevin is the mirror image of Prince Charming. If we could clone him and pass him out to all wives in the world...we would without a doubt achieve World Peace!! He is the most suportive, loving, caring, and sometimes funny best husband!! He listens to my venting sessions with no arguements. He listens to all my tearful cries after a bad day. He even does laundry!!! I love him more and more each day. God blessed me so much when he put him in my life. He has a perma-smile at all times and is my dream come true!!

So LOVE is everywhere in my life and I thank the good Lord for all the LOVE he has brought into my life.

I challenge you to list the LOVE in your life!!!